Intimacy
This week we talked about sexual intimacy between a husband and wife. I feel it is best to be clear when talking about this subject, so I will try to convey my thoughts in such a way that is not ambiguous.
I decided to look up the general definition of intimacy because I was curious what other words were used to describe it, and this is what came up, according to the Oxford Dictionary:
- Noun
- Close familiarity or friendship; closeness.
- A private, cozy atmosphere
- Euphemistic
- An intimate act, especially sexual intercourse
The words that stuck out the most to me were “close,” “private,” and “intimate.” “Private,” is the biggest concern for me, though. In our day, we see so much about sexuality all the time, we seem to have become a bit numb to it sometimes. Advertisements often have a sexual component. Entertainment, in all forms, seems to have to include some steamy scene to be considered popular. Celebrities' lives and bodies are plastered everywhere for anyone to see. Infidelity is running rampant. Nothing about that seems private to me. And, because of tools such as social media, instead of private affairs remaining private, they are shared with the world. Not always, but often enough. Concerning sexual intimacy, we are not showing the respect to the act or anyone that is deserved for something so personal and, frankly, sacred.
From an article I found on guttmacher.org concerning pre-marital sex, this is what was said: “by age 44, 99% of respondents had had sex, and 95% had done so before marriage. Even among those who abstained from sex until age 20 or older, 81% had had premarital sex by age 44.” With how prominent this is in our culture, it’s nearly impossible to avoid it. It is not impossible to remain abstinent until marriage, but it is impossible to avoid the pressure of culture. The message is that sex is a form of love, so in order to really show that love and commitment, you need to have sex. One example I can think of with this is “To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before.” In the first film, they have a hot tub scene where some passionate kissing is shared, and some pictures are taken and shared of the moment. This is upsetting to Lara Jean because everyone assumes something more happened than what was reality. Later, in the third film of the franchise, a large focus of the story is Lara Jean wanting to have sex with her boyfriend for the sake of having sex and saying she’s done it. He realizes this and gets upset, but later, when the motivation seems to be “rooted in love,” they allow it to happen.
The reason I share that example is because that trilogy is in both book and movie form. It’s something I’ve seen some of my younger siblings or cousins really enjoying, but they don’t fully realize what messages they are receiving.
My personal belief, as rooted in the doctrine taught in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, is that life is sacred. Sexual relations take part in making and, in righteous and holy ways, celebrating life. Sexual intercourse is meant to be reserved to be shared between a man and a woman bound in holy matrimony. It is not taught to be this way because we are just supposed to wait for the sake of waiting, but it helps us to be in control of our actions and keep our emotions in check. It helps us to show respect for our partners. It helps us to realize how special those experiences can be.
Other sources:
https://latterdaysaintmag.com/raising-the-bar-on-intimate-relationships/
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