Gender roles in the family

 

This week’s focus is closely related to last week’s. The focus this week is on gender roles within the family.

Within the Family: A Proclamation to the World, the roles for mothers and the roles for fathers were outlined: “By divine design, fathers are to preside over their families in love and righteousness and are responsible to provide the necessities of life and protection for their families. Mothers are primarily responsible for the nurture of their children. In these sacred responsibilities, fathers and mothers are obligated to help one another as equal partners.” Now, those words of “preside,” “preside,” and “protect” could be interpreted many different ways, but the simplest way to put it is that the father is meant to be the one working and providing for the physical (and spiritual) needs of the family, along with leading the family in the direction they need to go. Mothers in their role of “nurturing” the family are meant to be there physically and emotionally (and, I would say, spiritually) for their husbands and children. From my interpretation, that means the mother, by “divine design,” has been called to be at home with the children while the husband is to work.

I am not, in any way, shape, or form, trying to put men above women. I love the line in the Family: A Proclamation when it says “{they} are obligated to help one another as equal partners,” but, as I said last week, to be equal doesn’t mean to be the same.

In our studies of the differences between men and women, I found it interesting to see that there are distinct differences found even in infancy. Some of the things we listed out in our class were that girls were more relationship centered, detail oriented, gentle, creative, verbal, both in their own speech, and in observing the way people’s lips moved and mocking those movements when learning how to talk, and they showed more connectivity. The boys were more object-oriented, competitive, aggressive, active, myopic, and were better with their gross motor skills. That’s not to say that is the way for every girl and every guy ever to live, but that was majorly what was seen as the kids grew and interacted with one another. Those behaviors that can be identified very early on in life fit into the “divine design” that was talked about in the Family: A Proclamation.

There are often times we know there is something we need to do, like making dinner, for example, and we put it off because we don’t want to do it. There may even be other solutions for making that responsibility easier, like going out to dinner or having UberEats bring it to you so you don’t even have to go out. You may have a filled stomach, but you’ve now spent more money than you would have with a home cooked meal, and you’ve replaced a more or less healthy meal with something that fills you with calories instead of substantial nutrients. This is kind of like it is in fulfilling those familial roles. There may be other options, like having the mother at work and the father at home, but there may be some great blessings missed out on if that’s the path taken.

Once again, I would like to clarify: I don’t think there’s anything wrong with a woman in the workforce. There have been many advances made in the world because a woman was there to help. There’s nothing wrong with a tender-hearted man that loves to be at home with the children. I’m not here to tell every individual what needs to be done in their home, but I do know God is Someone Who knows what He’s talking about. If anyone knows what is divinely designed, it’s definitely Him.

The Family: A Proclamation also says, “Disability, death, or other circumstances may necessitate individual adaptation.” Individual families have individual needs. When the mother and the father work together, and include God in the process, they will come to determine what is needed for their family.

I would like to add one quick shout-out. My parents are amazing examples to me. I know there is a lot going on behind the scenes that I don’t get to see, but I have seen great sacrifices from both my mother and my father. My father has worked so hard to provide for his family, and my mom has done a wonderful job nurturing us along the way. Together, they preside over my family in love and righteousness, and they have given me so much. I am forever grateful for them and their good example. Like Nephi, a prophet in the Book of Mormon: Another Testament of Jesus Christ, I have been born of goodly parents (1 Nephi 1:1).