Parenting

 I’ve heard one of the greatest blessings in this life is the opportunity to be a parent. I’ve also heard one of the greatest trials is the opportunity to be a parent. Apparently, being a parent is a big deal.

In fact, being a parent is such a big deal that God Himself has taken the role of Father. Not only is He the physical Father of Jesus Christ, but He is also the Father of every spirit to ever exist. As our Father, His desires for us include the opportunity to become like Him. This is one of the reasons we are gifted with the ability to become parents as well. He doesn’t leave us to figure it out completely on our own though. Because He is our loving Father in Heaven, He has provided us with many means by which we can receive guidance to know better steps to take in rearing children.

One of the great sources we have to turn to is divine counsel given by representatives of Jesus Christ, apostles and prophets called and ordained by Christ to speak for Him and His Father. In the most recent General Conference, a meeting where individuals worldwide can hear the words of said prophets and apostles, Elder Dieter F. Uchtdorf shared a message entitled “Jesus Christ is the Strength of Parents.” In this address, he says something marvelous that I would like to share here:

“My message to all parents is this:

Accept this privilege and responsibility courageously and joyfully. Don’t delegate this source of heavenly blessings to anyone else. Within the framework of gospel values and principles, you are the ones to guide your child in the details of daily decisions. Help your children build faith in Jesus Christ, love His gospel and His Church, and prepare for a lifetime of righteous choices. In fact, that is God’s plan for parents.

Satan will oppose you, distract you, try to discourage you.

But every child has received the Light of Christ as a direct line to heaven. And the Savior will help you, guide you, and encourage you. Seek His help. Inquire of the Lord!”

That message is for all parents. He’s not just saying that for members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, though members may be most likely to adhere to those inspired words. I promise that anyone that chooses to come before God in prayer, and that sincerely asks for help in the name of Jesus Christ, will receive answers. They may not be the answers you expected, but they will be what you need.

Not only will they be the answers you need, but it will be answers for what your children need as well.

A child’s needs are important. That’s why they’re called needs. Some of the needs we looked over this week included the need for contact and belonging, power (not a power over other people, but a sense of power over your environment/life), protection, withdrawal (people need breaks sometimes), and challenge. I’m going to just copy and paste my notes from class here, because I feel like they’re condensed, but they still offer insight as to ways we can help children, regardless of if they’re our own or not.

• Contact/belonging:
• Be active every day in giving these things to them. Physical contact, eye contact, etc. 
• When children aren’t getting that physical contact, their mistaken approach (MA) to getting that is undue attention-seeking.
• You can never get enough of what you don’t need because it will never satiate those needs. “No amount of Mt. Dew will hydrate you.”
• Parental Response (PR): Offer contact freely. Don’t wait for them to act out for it. And teach them to contribute. Express appreciation when they do, but also share expectations that they will do it. 
• Power:
• (MA): rebellion or controlling others.
• (PA): offer age appropriate choices, and allow the consequences to happen. That is how we help develop responsibility (response ability).
• Protection: 
• (MA): Revenge.
• You never get even with revenge. You’re always trying to get ahead.
• (PR): Teach them assertiveness, and you have to be tolerant with them trying to be assertive with you (not walking all over you, but sharing their side of things). Also teach them forgiveness. 
• You can’t live one thing and teach another. 
• Withdrawal:
• (MA): Undue avoidance. 
• (PR): work alongside children, take breaks, then get back to work. 
• Challenge
• (MA): undue risk taking. 
• (PR): Skill building.

It’s hard to get everything down in one post, but questions are always welcome. Please ask if you have any. If you don’t want to ask me, you can always ask God. He will give perfect answers.

https://www.churchofjesuschrist.org/study/general-conference/2023/04/29uchtdorf?lang=eng